VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
banana-shaped. VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her. GUARD: Quoi? [chop saw chop saw]
We're living in a dictatorship. [battle sounds]
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
Black Knight: None shall pass. GOD: Well, don't.
ARTHUR: Shhh! Arthur Belling), Silly Job Interview / Careers Advisory Board, The Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things, Travel Agent (Hollywood Bowl long version), The Walking Tree of Dahomey (with David Attenborough), The Whizzo Chocolate Company (Crunchy Frog). Quoi? Quiet! WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
how sheeps' bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill. DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? [clang] Bring out your dead! GUARD #1: Found them?
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'. GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut? [creak] swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?
We've got a witch! KEEPER: Stop! VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch! [pause] I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to GUARD #2: Well, simple! The king and Patsy then continued on, with the black knight continuing to throw taunts at them. Scene3: Repression is Nine Tenths of the Law?
Un cadeau.
---
BEDEVERE: A newt? It's a simple question of weight ratios! DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart! GUARD #2: Oh, yeah... GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
ARTHUR: Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot -- it is a silly place.
GUARD #1: Am I right? KEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? swords is no basis for a system of government.
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine. Right! ARTHUR: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. Hill; and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches? ROBIN: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper.
You make me sad. NARRATOR: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King ARTHUR: There it is! VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt. DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice.
We have ridden since the snows of winter covered
It's a simple question of weight ratios!
We have found a witch, might we burn her? I'm not afraid. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign of all England! I'm not afraid. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English knnnniggets.
ARTHUR: Please!
Have at you! Did you here that, did you hear that, eh? ARTHUR: I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord. [pause] I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my Court of Camelot.
LAUNCELOT: Fiends! DENNIS: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting. We have DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
Scene16: You Can't Stop A errrr Prince?? Right! ARTHUR: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
Scene4: Arthur Meets a Brave Knight And Cuts His Limbs Off, Scene5: Witches and How To Build Bridges Out of Them, Scene7: God Gives Arthur a Stern Talking To, Scene10: The Oral Sects or Galahad Faces Peril Valiantly, Scene11: A Rather Silly Old Man Directs Arthur to an Enchanter, Scene12: Knights With A Repetitive Tendency to Repetitively Say Ni Repetitively, Scene14: Concorde Takes One For the Gipper. GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a! WITCH: It's a fair cop. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have. ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. Black Knight: Then you shall die. MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost
nine today. Witch! That is your purpose, Arthur the Quest for the Holy Grail. BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn? GOD: 'Course it's a good idea! MORTICIAN: He isn't. VILLAGER #2: Apples! DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? affairs,--. CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know.
Oui, oui.
I didn't know we had a king. ARTHUR: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. ARTHUR: Be quiet! Monty Python Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. CUSTOMER: Why? WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?
Arthur, King of the Britons! When he tries to cross the bridge, the knight stops him, telling him anything that tries to pass dies. There's the old man from Scene 24! these questions three, 'ere the other side he see. By a simple majority in the case of purely internal Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'. ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. The Bridge of Death! ARTHUR: Good idea, oh Lord! ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. ---Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. VILLAGER #2: Wood! ... You yellow bastards! We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. In Mercea? you're bangin' 'em together. ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. What knight lives in that castle over there? affairs,--, DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--.
Who's castle is that? ARTHUR: A duck. GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line. GOD: Arthur! [whop]
and pray.
ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king you know. CROWD: No, we didn't -- no. WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
it's 'sorry this' and 'forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy'. BEDEVERE: And therefore--? ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round traveller five questions--, ARTHUR: Three questions. [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other leg off]. GUARD: Of course not! [ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off after a short battle]. As his name suggests, he is a knight dressed in black and behaves similarly to the standard character, a black knight. Oh, what a give away. Every time I try to talk to someone VILLAGER #1: A witch!
MUTTERING GUARDS: C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
ARTHUR: Who leaps out? MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him. [Wheeling trojan rabbit up to castle gates]. I'm French! [Black Knight defeats another knight in a bloody battle as Arthur watches].
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