On our WeAreTeachers Instagram, we got to talking about all of the crazy things we find ourselves saying during the work day. During snack time, a kindergartner asked why some raisins were yellow while others were black.
The professor asked why the class was always quiet and disengaged.
Teacher: Mira went to the library at 5:15 and left at 6:45. Fearing someone might slip, I asked a student to take care of it.
Just scratching away while talking to the class. “We have only regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained. Scroll through our list of the funniest teacher memes and see for yourself.
Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper.
Some smartass in the front of the room goes “Why don’t you change your ringtone?” And the teacher responds “Why don’t you tell your mom to stop calling me?”.
While this one might leave science teachers feeling more than a little crabby. It’s a lot of responsibility without much of a payoff, unless you’re a superb human being who just enjoys doing the right thing and “making a difference,” or whatever. For the ugly ones: it won’t help.”, I’ve told this story before, and posted it on a couple of those lame FML kinda sites years ago, but it fits here too.
You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. How long was Mira at the library?
In fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. “Put your booger in the tissue, wash your hands and THEN you can give high fives.” —@knell926 “We don’t put carrots up our nose.” @katieellis1209 High school english teacher with an eyepatch and a habit of propping one leg up on a chair to reveal his bulge. Same day we learned about cleavage and streaking. “Can you tell me what grade I would need to get on the exam to pass the course?” he asked.
“Do you know what ‘minding your own business’ means?” I asked pointedly.
“It doesn’t matter. But after a few uninspired attempts, an exasperated student raised her hand and said, “Mrs. When one girl had finished the English portion of the state exam, she removed her glasses and started the math questions. 2.
Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life.
When our students began raising donations for Child Abuse Prevention Week, the school administration did its part by setting up a collection box outside the principal’s office and displaying a banner by the front door of the lobby. 6.
Got one to add? Halfway through the semester, I discovered that a student was retaking my course, even though he’d gotten an A- the first time through. Learn about us. Well, this was a very old school and I couldn’t find the number assigned to me, as a lot of them were worn away. Teacher: Why can’t freshwater fish live in salt water? Still, their enthusiasm for the occasion sometimes exceeded their grasp of English.
He jokingly stated, “If you take your grandmother with you I’ll give you extra credit”.
He replied, “That’s Columbus, way out to sea.”, As I welcomed my first-grade students into the classroom, one little girl noticed my polka-dot blouse and paid me the ultimate first-grade compliment: “Oh, you look so beautiful—just like a clown.”. 1. You submitted a hostage situation. He shrugged. College finance class. “I’m having a hard time reading.”, One of my students said, “Just sound it out.”.
By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. 10. Editorial note: The second tube in this image does look suspiciously like a gluestick to us.
He won a place in my heart that day.
—@outbackmumoftwo, “Please don’t put gum on the legos.” —@mdecka2, “You can’t use glue as chapstick.” —@abels.mama. All rights reserved. Here is the selection of the most inspiring and fun end of year quotes for students that you can share with your friends or just go through them to cherish the lovely old time.
HS Bio teacher had us doing Punnett Squares and he asked a girl what the result would be if he crossed his “Big P, Big P” with her “Little V, Little V”. The freakishly nice British weather has clearly got this teacher's students thinking.
“How do you spell toad?” one of my first-grade students asked.
That’s how I received the following: “Dear Mrs. Swanson, Would you please give Johnny as many guppies as you can spear, as we are going to bread them.”. One little boy suggested, “Maybe that’s why she teaches first grade, because she’s just a little bit smarter than you.”, “In Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis,” I said to my sophomore English class, “a man, discontented with his life, wakes up to find he has been transformed into a large, disgusting insect.”, A student thrust her hand into the air and asked, “So is this fiction or nonfiction?”. What were you thinking?”.
There was a little boy in her class who was finger painting. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest.
Laugh at really funny school jokes. 2.
Brighten their day the next time you see them by saying something like this: 1. Whether it’s your child’s favorite instructor or a neighbor who teaches at the school down the street, you probably know an educator somewhere. —@brittany_brethauer, “Don’t drink from the urinal.” —@lward2226, “We don’t pee in the garbage can.” —@kerilacy, “Do not eat popcorn in the bathroom.” —@jarnpirate2011, “You cannot sharpen your finger.” —@melissa.malicious, “Why did you sharpen your finger?” —@reiskybusiness, “That was rude of her to fart on your pencil.
I just couldn’t remember where I’d heard it before.”, A junior in my English class gave a big thumbs-down to the autobiography he’d read. But when it comes to food and morality, primary students win the day. “I’m not trying to be disrespectful,” he told my father, “but the machine I robbed had about $5,000 in it.”, Gauging from these exam excerpts, my college dance students had better stick with pliés. 1.
Teacher: What is an evangelist? He stops, looks at his hands and says. Apparently, we have a lot to say about noses and nose picking. We rounded up some real stories from real teachers about some of the funniest things they're heard kids say. Enjoy! He said to me very loudly so everyone could hear, “I bet if there was a steak on it you’d find your square!” I still hate him to this day.
So I told the kids they could have some as long as they brought in a note from home. She told the class, “I’m a MILF!
— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) December 12, 2018, When attempting to explain the physics of leverage and moving a heavy thing I said “You can move it the way the Egyptians did”, Kid immediately piped ” You get a bunch of Jewish slaves to do it?”. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog.
Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Kid in my class was given some bad news once and exclaimed “aw sh*t right on my d*ck…” it was inappropriate, but it sounded so incredibly genuine and defeated. “Are you okay?” I asked.
He replied, “It’s still in my pencil.”, “Don’t do that,” I said when one of my first graders playfully draped a dollar bill over his eyes. Spotted on Facebook: Student: I don’t understand why my grade was so low. 50 Things You Can Say To Encourage A Child by TeachThought Staff There are many ways to encourage a child, but for students of any age, honest, authentic, and persistent messages from adults that have credibility in their eyes are among the most powerful. What the craziest thing you’ve found yourself saying as a teacher? For example, when asked how a girl could get extra credit on a test, he responded by saying “I would say sex, but that would be illegal.”, My health education teacher sophomore year of high school showed us footage of a woman giving birth. 6. You were mean to everyone.”, During my first meeting with my physically challenged students, I assured them that most people are handicapped in some way. One good rule to remember is that if something you’ve said or done doesn’t have the desired effect multiple times, then it should be changed. “One means fast-forward and the other means rewind.”, My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community college.
Remind a teacher to keep their batteries charged!
And look at my ears—they’re much bigger than they should be.” From the back, a boy added, “And your nose too.”, When our school librarian announced she was changing schools, my fellow teacher asked a student, “Why do you think Ms. Richardson is leaving?” The third grader opined, “Because she’s read all our books?”, When a nosy fourth-grade student wanted the scoop on what another teacher and I were discussing in private, I decided it was time for an impromptu lesson in manners. Kids can really say the darndest things, which makes teaching unexpected, entertaining, and never dull. Had to explain that it was a rectangle. At the end of the day, though, teachers are still just teachers.
I had finished my English lecture and my class had filed out, a tenth grader stayed behind to confront me. I go to a private all girls school.
(Seriously, teachers, thank you and bless you.). • “The costumes were vindictive of the style of dance.” • “I commend Bill T. Jones for his acts of true kindness and selfishness.” • “Dancers must have long limps.” • “At first, I had a hard time understanding and interrupting his movement.” • “Savion Glover’s purpose is to cross all racial and ethical barriers with his dance.”. Teachers truly play incredible roles in student’s lives. In theology class last week, two of my friends were sitting on a heater to try to warm up and our 80-year-old teacher told them to stop because it would dry out their vaginas. Teacher here. ... that are just for fun of course, of the funniest things kids have said to teachers.
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